Little Earthquakes by Sarah Mandel

Author:Sarah Mandel
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2023-02-14T00:00:00+00:00

26

Return from Maternity Leave

In the second trimester of my pregnancy, I informed all of my patients that I would be taking three to four months off for maternity leave and return in the New Year. As it turned out, my leave started earlier than I had anticipated, as the cancer diagnosis preceded my due date by about seven weeks. Luckily, I had already discussed with my clients whether they wanted to continue with therapy (and if so, I had provided them with the transfer psychologist’s information).

I had spoken with my bosses once I received the initial diagnosis in September 2017. Despite my attempt to present the cancer news in a composed and professional manner, tears streamed down my face and my voice broke as I relayed the facts. They were compassionate, kind, and assured me that my patients would be well cared for during my absence. I told them that I hoped that I would get back to work in January, as I had originally intended. My oncologist had told me that some women are able to continue to work while receiving chemotherapy—and I decided that I would aim to be one of them.

Once I learned that the cancer was metastatic, the original return-to-work time frame became glaringly unrealistic. I contacted my bosses to update them and revised my start date to March.

My level of denial—thinking that I would likely be well enough to return to work in March—was profound. But I held on to the idea of March with a tight grip. I love my job. It is a part of who I am. My clients and I had more work to do together.

When I learned of my NED status, March became a target that I could conceivably reach. But cognitively, I was nowhere near as sharp as I had been prior to treatment. Would it be ethical for me to return to work if my cognitive functioning was not at its previous level? Would I be able to provide effective psychotherapy now? Ever?

But I remembered that like a muscle, the brain can be strengthened through exercise. Years ago, neurologists believed that over time we lose neurons (brain cells) as we age, resulting in an irreversible decline in brain function. But now we know that this original theory is misleading. Neurons actually continue to generate well past their initial proliferation in infancy, childhood, and adolescence. This process is called neurogenesis, and it enables us to stretch and enhance our brain’s faculties the more we keep it active.1 Hence the recommendation for older people to engage in challenging mind games, like crossword puzzles, to help delay the onset of dementia and other age-related cognitive decline.2 So perhaps my brain would be able to adapt to the challenges of clinical work after all.

In talks with my oncologist post NED, she assured me that I was physically and cognitively able to return to work, but advised me to pace myself. I also had my two young girls at home and wanted to

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.